We spent this past weekend with brothers and sisters at their homes. The whole weekend, while seeing new homes, farms, and animals, and the beauty of God's creation could be wrapped up in a word as far as I see it. That word is "admonition". Of course, there was much else done and said, but the thing God showed me from this weekend was that admonition has a place and needs to be practiced properly in order to be effective for edification of the body of Christ.
Let's define the term for the sake of understanding. According to the Webster's 1828 Dictionary:
1. To warn or notify of a fault; to reprove with mildness.
2. To counsel against wrong practices; to caution or advise.(referred to in Col. 3)
3. To instruct or direct
Colossians 3 is a passage full of "one anothers" and is a great place to start reading when looking to see how the body of Christ ought to act. I had a great day Saturday visiting with an group of Christians and studying the Word of God together, then met for worship and teaching with a group of believers in a home. After the services ended, I was talking with a dear brother about many subjects, one of which was admonition.
This brother is one that I respect for his life lived for Christ. This man serves and cares for others often, and has a great knowledge of God's Word. I believe it is a logical outcome of living a life of "one anothering" to have brothers and sisters that you respect. We can learn much from each other and from our shared knowledge of God's Word with the Bible as our authority. I was talking to him about "one anothering" and this topic of admonition was brought up. I would find out later why, as this brother had been praying for my family and I.
As we talked further, he seemed hesitant to continue, but finally told me that there was something we needed to talk about. I had no doubt that whatever was on his mind was going to be fruitful, even if unpleasant to hear. This brother went on to admonish me about a certain fault in my life. He was not picking, not seeking to cause disorder, and only had my walk with the Lord and what was best for my family at heart. This is evident not only by knowing his heart, but also by the approach and my brother's hesitation. I encouraged him to say whatever needs to be said, as I know that I am not perfect by any means. I wondered as I look back if I would have received this counsel so well from a brother that was not walking as he should. I will leave that for personal thought, and would welcome input as always.
It is strange to me that I, a pig headed and stubborn man in the flesh, was able to take this admonition as encouragement and teaching. He had seen a fault and lovingly pointed it out. He did not point his finger, he did not speak loudly or even have a hint of pride as he spoke. I heard the love of Christ brought out in this discussion. I believe this is the way we should handle admonition.
My tendency as a large and loud man is to deal with a brother or sister in Christ as I would a small child. This authoritarian role is at times necessary for children, but as children mature they are able to understand more and more. This maturity process does hold many admonitions and corrections along the way. It is not my place to point fingers and intimidate people, but to love them and help them see from God's perspective.
This admonition is not an every day occurrence, but prayerfully considered when folks really need the help. The most important role for me, as I see it, is to be a good role model, to live in a Christ-like manner in all things and share how God is working.
Admonition must be done in love and for the purpose of teaching and encouragement, not to put oneself up to a higher position or exert authority. There are some cases in which we must look to Matthew 18 and such passages, but I think most times we would see it is God's way to gently and lovingly share a suggestion than to formally file a complaint. I wish I could say that I have always done this the right way, and at times I have been put in the role of correction. May we prayerfully seek God as to which role to play as we interact with those around us in our marriages, with our children, and with the family of God.
Mark Cowperthwaite
Sadly, I think that at times when I have prayed and tried hard to admonish people properly, out of love and respect, they seem to usually take it all wrong. How can we let people know that our heart is in the right place? I always have the best of intentions, but some people are just defensive and not willing to take help from anyone.
ReplyDeleteWe cannot change others, but simply pray and offer counsel. This is a lesson I am learning more and more by the day. I try to live as an example and leave the fruit to the Lord. He is able to draw men to Him. Be careful not to take it personally when people intentionally withdraw themselves from fellowship. We cannot walk the walk for anyone but ourselves. Hope that helps you.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the biggest stumblingblocks to receiving wise counsel and instruction is pride and immaturity. Sometimes, no matter how well executed our words are people are just thinking about themselves and the sting of correction-not the intention behind it. Correction is a hard pill to swallow for most people, but to those that see it as the possibility for spiritual growth it is received well. So, we still have the responsibility of correcting and if people take it too personally, it's between them and God. Hopefully they will marinate on your words and eventually through prayer realize their immaturity and grow from that experience. It does help tremendously to know people personally before just jumping in with a correction, and of course done with kindness and love.
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