(Rom 16:16) Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.
1Co 16:20) All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.(2Co 13:12) Greet one another with an holy kiss.
(1Pe 5:14) Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.
We have talked about having love for one another, and much has been fleshed out about the family of God. Well, we are family, even when we may not act like it. I don't know if you come from a physically affectionate family, or culturally if this type of affection is considered taboo. Either way, I don't really think we should just throw this one out as cultural, time sensitive, or the words of a man. Truly, these were Paul's writings, but inspired by God to show us how to live.
My home was not overtly affectionate physically growing up, and I don't often hug my dad or brothers. My mom is a hugger, and being a really big guy, it is fun to hug someone half your size. Mom enjoys a good hug from her "little boy", but not the kissing part. There are other families that are cheek kissers, mouth kissers, or that "air kiss" type. There are all flavors of folks in most churches, from what I have observed.
What is the root issue here? I believe (though I have been wrong before) that affection, be it physical, emotional, etc. is all based on love, caring, and desire to make those we love feel good. We want them to feel welcome in our homes. We wish to convey a feeling of gratitude for a gift, sorrow in times of parting, and many other emotions that just don't seem to fit so well with words as they do with a touch.
My kids tell me they love me. My wife says it, too. Still, a touch, sitting close to them and having physical contact seems much more intimate. Is this type of thing accepted practice in your home? What about in your church body? If not, have you considered why not? If so, is it always genuine, or has it become a tradition more than an true expression of love and fellowship?
I know some will feel that I have not gone into this deeply enough, others think it silly to even bring it up. These are just some thoughts to ponder. I really would love a female point of view, and may have Sara put something together if she gets a chance. If any of you ladies, or even the guys, have some thoughts, please share. I am rather affectionate, but often shy away as I have been told I am intimidating. So, if you are reading this and would like a hug, just reach out and hug me, I will hug back. If you are the kissy type, you may need to talk to my wife first. Cheek kisses are fine with us. I think Paul probably meant on the cheek anyway, but would admit to being wrong if someone could show me my fault.
Mark
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I did once get kissed by a man(on the cheek) This wonderfully affectionate brother is a great guy and not scared to show some brotherly love. When we were leaving the state, he ran out the door, grabbed me by the head and kissed my cheek. Quite forcefully! Really, I was not offended, but rather quite impressed at the genuine affection he showed me. In his culture, this is perfectly normal, and I think often Americans tend to be kind of uptight when it comes to affection, but I think we are on the lower end of the affection scale for the most part. Mexicans, Italians, French, and those few folks I know from Uganda are very huggy. Let's get on the ball, people. Paul said kiss 'em, now go kiss 'em(or not).
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At 6'4" and 300#, I really do understand some folks being intimidated, but often feel that us big guys get the short end of the affection stick when it comes to babies. I love babies, playing with and holding babies, making faces for them, and just seeing God's wonderful creation at it's early stages. My wife would tell you that I like babies more than most women, and many mothers. Yet my size I think, may give some people pause in handing over their infants. Just a side note from the big guy.
One of the things I love about my church (Laurel Bible Chapel in SD) is the amount of love and affection they express. I remember attending for the first time and I was overwhelmed by how much hugs and kisses (on the cheek) I received that day that at first I was like "what's wrong with these people" but I remember thinking when I got home of how much of a differance that made. I obviously returned and have been there for 3 yrs now. I was babtized and have ministry there and yes it did have a lot to do with the love and effection that was shown. Praise God!!
ReplyDeleteI confess the holy kiss is not in my repertoire - yet. I grew up in a huggy, kissy family, but would hide when relatives came to avoid that ordeal. It's taken a good part of my life to unabashedly hug others, and this came mostly through Christian fellowship. More and more I find myself naturally expressing compassion for others through hugs and gentle touches to hands and shoulders. I believe this response comes also from the desire to be obedient to Christ's command to "love one another."
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mark, for your blog and one-anothering!
Mary
I have two problems as far as the kiss is concerned. You said that you thought that a kiss on the cheek was what it was talking about. All it says is kiss. I don't follow your reasoning. I probably do not show enough love, but I would not feel comfortable with more than a warm handshake accompanied with a big smile. I definitely go as far as a warm hug with a brother that is agreeable with that. I do not see that a kiss in very many circumstances would be holy. I would definitely not go further than a handshake with a sister unless she was looking for or needing it. To show love is necessary but we must aviod every appearance of evil.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Jimmy, but that won't cut it. God's Holy Word says a kiss, so handshakes are not all there. I think that American culture has vilified the kiss. We think of passion and lust, but I think Paul was more thinking of kissing your grandmother. That is loving and appropriate. If we are treating younger sisters as such, as the Bible says, we wouldn't have those types of thoughts. Innocent, Christlike, and loving as Christ loved the church, not erotic or sensual. Thanks for the input, all of you. I welcome more.
ReplyDeleteKissing is not evil. The Bible says kiss, so a kiss must be what he means. Maybe a kiss on the hand, like nobility used to do. Maybe on the cheek like so many cultures do, but if Paul said a kiss, I am willing to pray about it and see what God leads me to do.
ReplyDeleteI will study and pray about it. I gave me my previous views last night I will work on changing those views.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading more about the culture, I was reminded of where I got my view of the cheek kiss. It was common in the day, but still noted to be separate and distinct in the church rather than the world. Google "holy kiss" and look around. More input welcome. I do note that some places and times, it was only appropriate to kiss someone of the SAME gender. Continue to talk, research, and especially pray and see what God's Word has to say.
ReplyDeleteIn Poland and Eastern/Central Europe, it is common for people to greet with a kiss on the cheek. In some places it is one kiss on one cheek. In other places it is a kiss on both cheeks and in other places there are 3 kisses. Believers also do this. But when it came to a man and a woman, often the kiss was on the hand from the man. Sometimes it was done on the cheek, depending on the relationship.
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